For hearing aids to be most effective, they must first be worn.

I've been so appalled by what happened last week that my heart wasn't even into writing about it.
My little boy went an entire day at school without his hearing aids because his teacher had them on her desk...
Preposterous you say, but I am here to tell you it happened.
His batteries went dead at 9:30 am in the gym. He goes back to class, his teacher then makes the assumption that he had been sent to the office to call us. (btw, I personally gave her a pack of batteries and Cam knows how to change them himself) 10:30, 11:30, 12:30, 1:30, 2:30, 3:10 his dad picks him up at school. When Cam gets in the van, he doesn't have his hearing aids...
She never bothered to call us, and it was so unimportant to her that she didn't even remember to give them back to him at the end of the day!!!!
Disgusting isn't it?
And Oh btw, when my husband went into the school to retrieve the aids, the teacher couldn't even find the hearing aid batteries that I gave her.

Let's just say Cam's School is in for A BIG WAKE UP CALL!!!
I have a meeting in the morning with the head of the Board of Education. If that doesn't make me happy I will go to the State.

If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to shoot me any suggestions or links!

Crazy Me

I figured out why I wasn't hearing so well. It turns out that I have a humongous hole in my left hearing aids tubing. I don't know how I'm hearing out of it at all. I was shocked when I noticed it. I mean gee I really don't pay much attention to my aids huh? Its such and eazy fix.
Crazy Amy... Just Crazy. :)

Trying to stay out of the Royal Court, and hear at the same time...,

My hearing aids haven't been working well for the last few days. Its like I can't get them loud enough. I'm worried they are on the edge of self-destruction. Ugg...
I will be working tonight. I agreed to work the weekend nights to help boost morale among our servers and front of house staff. This is usually a fun job. After all a good attitude is contagious. Tonight however, I found out that "The Queen" will be in our restaurant. Now don't get me wrong, for the most part The Queen has great ideas and suggestions. I also like the fact that she encourages everyone to do their job-the way they were trained to do it. After all I am the Lead Qualified Trainer at my restaurant, so I love to see everyone doing it the way they were trained. But anyway, what I dread is the music. Queen turns it so loud you cant even hear yourself think. Now I know she is following the "lets make it a lively place, happy and fun". But GEEE's it makes my night so stressful and it makes me angry. I'm trying to hear my guest, I'm trying to hear my fellow workers, trying to hear the bosses, and all the while trying to hear everything around me so I don't look like an idiot when someone calls for me or ask for something and I don't respond because I didn't hear them!
Well, its time for the peasant to get dressed and go serve her lord at the manor, all in hopes of keeping his queen happy.

Not Loud Enough, too loud, Not Loud Enough, too loud, Not Loud Enou...

Now that I'm aware of my failing aids, I have been forced to use setting 3 (the loudest setting programed on them). This wouldn't be so bad, except setting 3 wasn't intended to be used as my primary, so the background noise is huge and the loud clanking and beeping noises in the kitchen are horrific. Makes for a tiring day, and a saddened state of mind. All I want to do when I get home is sit in the silence.

Hearing in the Dark

When I was pregnant with Cam, we read all the books, went to all the classes, quizzed all our friends and family trying to gain information that would help us with labor and delivery. When I saw the pamphlet for Lamaze classes that were being offered at the hospital that I would be having my baby at, I snatched it up. After all, thats what you do when your having a baby, you go to Lamaze. When I got home, I made the called and found out when the classes started. We were told to bring a pillow. I was so excited. Lar was too. The afternoon came, we got dressed, drove down the the hospital. It was so thrilling to know we were going to get to share time with other parents and learn techniques to help with labor and delivery. When we got there, we went to the wrong floor. Searched. Panic. No one knew what we were talking about. This was a new program that was being offered. So we read our pamphlet again, and realized our mistake. We were 10 minutes late. Uggg, I hate to be late. When we got there, no big deal, we weren't the only ones who had gotten lost. Thank goodness.

We began the class by going around the room telling our names, and if it was our first child.
How fun this was.
Then the instructor told us to get in a comfy position with our partners behind us.
We were going to start by learning some relaxation techniques.

Then to my horror, without warning, she turned OFF the lights!!!

Larry could feel me tense up. He rubbed my arm. Letting me know he was there with me and it was okay.

Then she began to teach the class.
I heard nothing she was saying, because not only was I in the dark, she was whispering.
Then to my horror again, I heard the parents apparently answering questions.
Please, please don't let her ask me anything.

We laid there in the dark for what seemed like eternity.

I know they were talking and discussing things, because every now and then someone would be just loud enough I could hear parts of what they were saying.

To say the least, it was a nightmare.

Then the lights came back on and it was time for a break. Snacks and drinks.

Larry took one look at me and said, "you want to go?" I just nodded my head yes.

We slipped out the door without ever saying a word to anyone.
The minute we were out in the hallway, I burst into tears.
I was devastated. My first real important task as a mother and I failed.

The next day I went to see my chiropractor. He asked me how Lamaze went. I told him the story. Then he gave me the best advice anyone gave me my entire pregnancy (as far as labor and delivery) "You don't need Lamaze. Your body knows what to do. Trust it."

So I did. I had the most wonderful and perfect delivery. It went a beautifully as I had hoped it would.

The thing about this story that I find interesting is the fact that now, I would jump right in there and be like "Wooooohhhaaa,,,what are we doing here? I'm hearing impaired, I'm going to get nothing out of a class in the dark." Then see if we could reschedule for a Lamaze that would be more appropriate for my situation.

It really doesn't matter though, because in the end, it worked out.

I'm just so thankful that I can now speak up when its "too dark" for me and I can't hear. I have to be Cams advocate, and show him the way to be his own advocate....
I have to show him the way out of the darkness.

The Greatest Show On Earth

Now that I'm aware of the fact that my aids are not working as well as they should be, it REALLY bugs me.
I want to hear what people are saying. The first time they say it.

Guess I'll have to start saving the money for the new aids. Let's just see how long it takes me...

On a good note though. Today at work, I asked the manager on duty to turn the music down so I could hear my guest better. (For those of you who don't know I work in a restaurant)
I actually asked for an accommodation!
That might not sound like much to most people but its a big step for me. I've always thought of myself as a typical hearing person... ha ha thats a joke. I had to become an adult and see though my child the BIG picture. To see what a handicap being hearing impaired really is.
Then I realized that I had to teach other people what being hearing impaired is really about.

Oooh, the crazy fun world of working in the service industry with hearing aids. It really forces me to push the limits. It forces me to live in the hearing world as a hearing impaired person. It forces me to make it okay for those around me that I'm hearing impaired. Its odd that I have to make it okay, for them to be okay, with the fact that I have a disability.

Sometimes my life feels like a circus act.

ATTENTION: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHILDREN OF ALLLLL AGES:

SHE HAS A DISABILITY,
SHES HANDICAPPED,
SHES HEARING IMPAIRED!

RIGHT THIS WAY FOLKS:

"Now. Are you okay with that?"
"How can I help you be okay with that?"
"Let me show you how this works."
"Let me show you how to, help you, make this work."




So whats next?
I guess, not becoming that "HANDICAPPED" person?

Its such a fine line. A balancing act, really.
Just like the Circus,
Sometimes I'm walking the tight rope,
sometimes I'm the freak show,
sometimes I'm playing the clown,

But the best time of all
is when I get to take off my costume, my mask, leave the circus at work,
and just
sit at home with my family,
and just be ME.

If a Woodpecker Pecks on a Pine Tree and You Can't Hear it,,,,does it still make a sound?

Today we went hiking. We had such a great time. We always do when we're outside. Especially in the forest. We love to hike, swim, ride our bikes, explore, anything in nature really. So, today, we're out hiking and we find a beautiful resting spot by a little stream. It's the most perfect weather, the most perfect amount of sun and shade. I was sitting there being thankful for the beautiful day, while Cam and Lar were looking for "fish" in the stream. All of a sudden Lar had us all be quiet so Cam could hear a woodpecker.

Umm,,,,

Shhhhhhh!!!

Shshh!

Mommy can't hear the woodpecker...

Ohhhh, wait. It must be too far away for us to hear it.

"Hey! Cam, can you hear that Woodpecker?"

"Yep, its going peck, peck pe e e e e e e e ek"

WHATS GOING ON?!?

By now I'm irritated. I want to hear the stupid woodpecker. My hearing aids have different settings on them that my audiologist and I set up for me. I have one that I use that is basically just my normal hearing but REAL loud. I use it at College to hear the professor in a large, quiet room. So anyway I turned it to that setting....and BAM! It was like the world came alive! I could hear birds, the woodpecker, leaves falling, water trickling down a stream, and way off in the distant other hikers.ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?
I was living more in the dark than I realized! I felt so cheated!
When I first got the aids I'm wearing now, I could hear like that. Over time they have gotten weaker (I'm pretty sure its not my hearing.) and I really hadn't noticed HOW much I was missing!!!!
Grrr...
I hope I can find a woodpecker to peck on a money tree for me.
Because New Hearing Aids = MONEY
Its a double edged sword though,

Because New Hearing Aids = New Technology & Much Better Hearing, which = MONEY....

My biggest fear is money. That sucks. My insurance company should pay for them!

I needed to know that I wasn't hearing as well though...

So!
Thank You Woody Woodpecker!

Information Packet For Your Childs Teacher

This was the best site I found for how to present your childs needs to the teacher. I changed what I needed to and added somethings that my child needed. A BIG Thank you to Cheryl and Listen Up for putting this info out there!
I also listed it at the bottom in my resources and website section.

http://www.listen-up.org/edu/hand-out.htm

Trying to Hear in the Dark, "Anyone Got a Flashlight?"

My life is a beautiful Life.
I have my joy all wrapped up in a little boy. My mom is my best friend ~ she's my rock. My mom is a huge part of mine and Cam's life. She has a very special relationship with my son. She has been there holding my hand and giving me courage form the moment he was born. (well before he was born really.)
I have a few friends that I call true friends.
My large family consist of 2 brothers and 2 sisters. 5 nephews and 2 nieces and one great~niece. (Non of which are hearing impaired, by the way.)
I'm happily married to my husband, Lar. We have been married for 8 years. We've been together for 12. We have one child, my son Cam. Cam is also hearing impaired. He has mild to moderate bilateral hearing loss. His is almost identical to mine in every way except his loss is less. Lar is very loving and supportive of the hearing impaired needs that Cam and I bring to his life. We are very lucky.
I work in the restaurant industry, I'm the Lead Trainer and part of the Management Team. I Love my job. However, it is insanely crazy that I work in the restaurant industry, and wear hearing aids. Gees, Could I have picked a more challenging and noisy environment to work in?
Its a great experience to help me get to my goal. which is to finish my business degree and go into business management or an executive position with my current company. Of course if the opportunity arises elsewhere that would be great too.
We currently live in a small town in Alabama, one that has hardly no resources for the hearing impaired. We lived in Atlanta for 8 years that's where Cam was born and had all the advantages laid out for him. Its been a huge change to come back to my childhood home town. I suffered greatly here growing up because the schools here are so backwards when it comes to accommodating the handicapped. The educational and medical opportunities here are a joke. We have NO accredited private schools that are less than an hour away, we have no "real" pre-schools, we have no hearing impaired advocates (they too are an hour away), we have no audiologist for children, we have no Auditory Verbal Therapy (which I'm a HUGE fan of, Cam is a graduate from the Auditory Verbal Center of Atlanta) We have no help at all here. Its unbelievable really. Hearing Impairment is completely over looked here and unimportant. Its not even as good in Birmingham as it was in Atlanta, its better, but still not as good.
We moved back here so Cam could have the joy of growing up surrounded by family. Even though we are still glad we made that decision the sacrifices has been huge. The challenges here are abundant. I knew this when we decided to move back. I just didn't realize HOW challenging it was going to be in the year of 2008! I mean, can we please get beyond where we were when I was a kid?!? NO! Nothing has changed here. Why?!!! Its been 25 years, WHY are they still resistant to mainstreaming our children?
Living here is like trying to read lips in the dark and no one around here has a flashlight...
I'm up to it though, were gonna change this town, one little boy and his pissed off mommy ~you better watch out Little Town.
All I can say is "Bring it on!!!".

its how I hear what I see

Cam came home from school today and he didn't have his folder that we record his homework in his back back. He always brings this home. Its required. But today his back pack was empty. I asked him why... his answer was "I don't know, the other kids left theirs at school, so I just did what they did". He has already discovered how to blend in and function in the hearing world. Its a method I've used all my life. When in doubt, do what the others are doing. Oh I know what your thinking, why don't you just ask whats going on. As a kid you don't want to stand out, and then also at 5 sometimes you don't know you should ask, or even how to ask. So this method follows you into adult hood and you just go with it, you don't even realize your doing it. Now as an adult if its important (such as at work, or doctors or things like that) I don't think twice about asking.
There are so many things I do without thinking. I just nod in agreement, I smile, I pretend to be listening and nod when everyone else nods.
I love it when I need someone repeat something more than once, they get aggravated. OH MY Goodness, I know you didn't just get aggravated with me. So I have responses for that too:
"I'm sorry, I'm just not with it today." "I hear you but its not registering, I don't know whats wrong with me today I haven't been able to hear a thing."
If your rude about it though....you better watch out, I figure if I can deal with being hearing impaired 24-7 you can deal with me for a few minutes. I love to tell them things such as:
"My hearing impairment is a handicap, but your mumbling isn't!" "Speak up and look at me, and I would quit asking you to repeat it!" "Hello! I'm over here look at me please!" or my personal favorite "I'm hard of hearing whats your problem!"

Its a lot of work for me to hear what I see.
I get tired.
I have to keep the background noise from getting in the way, read lips, guess, piece it all together, then repeat what was said.
And when I'm tired, I just want quite. That's where having hearing aids is a blessing. I just turn them off. As soon as I do, all is calm again. I can feel my body relaxing.
I don't think typical hearing people realize that we get tired so easy. Noise makes me nervous, makes me tired, makes me unable to hear. The dark is worst though. I cant hear at all in the dark. If I cant see I can't hear.
I can hear my mom over anything, anywhere even in the dark. She trained herself to accentuate her words and I spent my youth depending on her for my ears.

Sitting in the Dark

I live my life about 60-70% of the time guessing what I heard. I have set though many meals with large groups and never knew what the conversations were, so I simply made up the dialog as I went. I know this may sound a little strange, but its better than sitting there in the dark. I started doing that when I was a kid. I had and still have a very good imagination. You should hear some of the conversations I've heard that never existed. People have warts, unwanted children, little big toes, bad breath, anything to pass the time. Sometimes my lip reading is horrible too. If a person mumbles or has an accent, I will think they said really silly things.



I've worn hearing aids since I was 2 years and 9 months old. The cause of my hearing loss is unknown. Although it wasn't considered to be hereditary, my son who is 5 is also hearing impaired he was diagnosed at birth by the Newborn Hearing Screening (he has mild to moderate hearing loss, also the same as me, also no speech delays) I know that makes you wonder. It does me too...lol



I read people ALOT. Most of the time I read their expressions correctly, but sometimes I'm wrong. My mom is the only person in the whole world that I am completely comfortable hearing around. I feel safe and unjudged by my close friends and family.
But my mom gets me. She feels it with me. Sometimes I think she must have lived a thousand hearing impaired lives with me ~ and now again with my son Cam.

Only a mom can truly feel another mothers pain.

The Lord gave me the mother he knew I so desperately needed to help me as a hearing impaired child, then again, to help me as a mom of a hearing impaired child.