You Think You See, But You Have No Idea

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Jasper, Alabama, United States

Friday, September 19, 2008

its how I hear what I see

Cam came home from school today and he didn't have his folder that we record his homework in his back back. He always brings this home. Its required. But today his back pack was empty. I asked him why... his answer was "I don't know, the other kids left theirs at school, so I just did what they did". He has already discovered how to blend in and function in the hearing world. Its a method I've used all my life. When in doubt, do what the others are doing. Oh I know what your thinking, why don't you just ask whats going on. As a kid you don't want to stand out, and then also at 5 sometimes you don't know you should ask, or even how to ask. So this method follows you into adult hood and you just go with it, you don't even realize your doing it. Now as an adult if its important (such as at work, or doctors or things like that) I don't think twice about asking.
There are so many things I do without thinking. I just nod in agreement, I smile, I pretend to be listening and nod when everyone else nods.
I love it when I need someone repeat something more than once, they get aggravated. OH MY Goodness, I know you didn't just get aggravated with me. So I have responses for that too:
"I'm sorry, I'm just not with it today." "I hear you but its not registering, I don't know whats wrong with me today I haven't been able to hear a thing."
If your rude about it better watch out, I figure if I can deal with being hearing impaired 24-7 you can deal with me for a few minutes. I love to tell them things such as:
"My hearing impairment is a handicap, but your mumbling isn't!" "Speak up and look at me, and I would quit asking you to repeat it!" "Hello! I'm over here look at me please!" or my personal favorite "I'm hard of hearing whats your problem!"

Its a lot of work for me to hear what I see.
I get tired.
I have to keep the background noise from getting in the way, read lips, guess, piece it all together, then repeat what was said.
And when I'm tired, I just want quite. That's where having hearing aids is a blessing. I just turn them off. As soon as I do, all is calm again. I can feel my body relaxing.
I don't think typical hearing people realize that we get tired so easy. Noise makes me nervous, makes me tired, makes me unable to hear. The dark is worst though. I cant hear at all in the dark. If I cant see I can't hear.
I can hear my mom over anything, anywhere even in the dark. She trained herself to accentuate her words and I spent my youth depending on her for my ears.

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