You Think You See, But You Have No Idea

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Jasper, Alabama, United States

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Everything but the kitchen sink is in this post...Closed Captioning, Hearing Test, IEP's, Movies...

I started using the closed captioning on my T.V.
Let me tell you I was shocked. I've been watching some of favorite movies, again - for the first time! I can not believe what all I was missing.

Cam had his first "big person" hearing test last week. Its the first hearing test with truly accurate results.
His hearing loss is almost identical to mine. It shocked me actually. I was comparing his to mine and I got confused as to which was which. I had to look closely to keep it strait.
On a good note though nothings changed. (I'm always afraid he might lose hearing.) Not this time though, Thank Heavens.

We got Cam's IEP set up for next year and met with his 1st grade teacher. I think she is going to be fantabulas (my own created word there). That was an adventure all in its self. As the head of the special education department from the Board of Education said "We have a delightful problem with Cam, he doesn't qualify for services." Crazy I know, but its like his hearing is a disadvantage not a disability. His hearing is the disability which causes him to be at a disadvantage which qualifies him. Crazy yeah.
I thought it was hysterical that I had to get a hearing test to "prove" he was hearing impaired. I guess the hearing aids in his ears wasn't proof enough.

Anyone seen the new movie Knowing? Not giving away anything here, but the little boy character in the movie was hearing impaired and wore a hearing aid. Too Cute. Odd but facinating movie. I think it was the hearing impaired little boy with a hearing aid that I loved so much. :)



Monday, March 16, 2009

It's baseball time again!

Cam has the most awesome baseball coaches ever! I mentioned today at practice how I might need to help him look where he needs to look in order to follow their directions on the field, and his coaches said they already noticed that and were going to work with him... They went on to say, they've coached Cam for 3 years and they'll take care of him, and see to it he knows whats going own. How wonderful!

He is so cute out there playing ball. Sorry you guys, but I'll be living at the ball field for the next few months, your going to hear a lot about it... :)

Saturday, March 14, 2009

I can love myself and my ears

I am so amazed by how much self acceptance along with the awareness of my own needs that I have acquired since I started this blog. Writing this blog has had the most profound impact on who I am as a person and how I view myself and how I view being HoH. It has truly opened my eyes to a world within myself that I didn't even know existed. I had no idea how much my life was effected by wearing hearing aids and being hearing impaired. Almost every area of my life is effected by being HoH, and yet I had never given it much consideration, nor did I know how much help I needed.
It seems so easy now. This is who I was meant to be. Becoming aware of my limitations has, as odd as it may sound, been the most freeing and liberating experience.
I'll give you an example. The other day at my little boys baseball game, I said, without even thinking about it, to one of the other mothers, that I needed to coach Cam to play as a hearing impaired child. (to use his eyes as his ears) I was shocked that I said it so casual. Then later I said I need to tell the coach that when Cam is on second base and looking at his coach for the signal to run, he needs to stay focused on Cam, so Cam can stay focused on him. Then just as natural as could be, one of the moms commented to me about something that had been said and I asked her what had been said because I couldn't hear. Wow. In the past I would have just done the yeah, I don't know what your talking about but I'll pretend I do, nod.
Its really okay to be Hard of Hearing. Its okay to need help. Its okay to ask. Its okay to be hearing impaired and not pretend you hear everything. Because I don't hear everything, and sometimes I do need help.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Not fearing the unheard

I'm proud of myself.
I'm proud of all that I can do, despite the hardship.
I'm proud that I can do what I fear.
I can live and function in a world that doesn't notice that I struggle.
I can do it all, and still be sane....
I noticed today that I have risen above, above my own fears.
For that I am proud.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

A Different Day, a Different World

I had the meeting with The Board of Education and also with Cam's school. I brought along the information packet for his teachers and the other educators that were present. It went really well. Better than I had hoped. That was about 3 weeks ago. Everything has improved so much. Its almost like having another school, another teacher and also another child. I didn't realize how much it was effecting him. Cam is happy and learning so much more than before. Its so nice to see him happy its nice to see him enjoying school again. I feel so blessed right now. I never would have thought it would work.
The whole experience has opened my eyes to the fact that sometimes you can get the help you need. Sometimes people really do care. Sometimes the system works. Sometimes I need to let go of my past and realize the whole world isn't out to get us because we're Hard of Hearing. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't happen often, but when it does, it shows me what the world is capable of being. A world where being HoH isn't a burden, just a different way of living.


Note: For those of you who follow my blog you will notice this is the first blog where I've used the term Hard of Hearing. I've done a lot of research on the terms and its not that I don't still see myself as Hearing Impaired or that I will never refer to myself as such, but I will use which ever term fits my mood, after all its just a term.

It’s okay to be called deaf, hearing impaired, hard of hearing or whatever title you feel comfortable with. It’s when you limit yourself, put yourself in a “poor me scenario,” and degrade yourself . . . that will stop you from reaching your greatest potential and aspiration in life.
~Justin Osmond

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Hearing Impaired and Evacuation Papers

Cam and I went with my life long best friend (we'll call her Ruth) and her two older children, along with one of Ruths other friends to the Toby Mac concert at the Birmingham Jefferson Civic Center Arena. It was Ruths Birthday. We all spent the entire day together and had a fantastic time!
Ruth and her two beautiful kids.


On the hearing impaired end of it though, the Birmingham Jefferson Civic Center Arena was an ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE! It saddened my heart beyond belief at the ignorance and callousness of the people who were employed at the event to help people.


But before that,,,

We arrived 4 hours early for the concert and stood outside with our children (imagine the pain of that...lol) and waited on the doors to open because there were no pre-sell tickets. But, even that was fun...

Waiting, waiting, waiting...


When we got inside, Ruth, being the person she is and my forever friend, asked the floor manager if there were any seats for the hearing impaired or if they could help us because my son and I both read lips. They had seats up on a platform set aside for this sort of thing, but my son and I wouldn't be with our friends. WHAT?!? Okay so the fact that they couldn't set aside an entire section for the hearing or visually impaired and their entire group of friends, I get it, sorta, but the fact that they wouldn't help us?!?

If we weren't willing to to it their way, then sorry. Go away. HUH?


I told Ruth to forget it anyway, because we were early enough to get seats on our own. So, we go over to a section at the side of the stage that was filling up. Only to be told we couldn't sit there the section was closed. (I've been to concerts where you couldn't sit back stage so that wasn't all that surprising.) Ruth again asked if we could stay so we could read lips. No! Go over there, to some reserved seats for hearing impaired. We go. No seats. By this time the arena is full.

WHAT?!? You've got to be kidding me.

We've spent 40 minutes getting the run around and lost all chance to be any where near the stage. Up top we go. I know it wasn't my fault, but I felt horrible for my friend. If she hadn't been with us and tried to help us, she would have been very close to the stage herself. But as always Ruth wasn't even fazed by the whole thing, lets get seats and have fun!


I get up to go complain, because we got the run around. They should educate their staff on reserved seating, or the lack there of, and not send people on a wild goose chase.


The lady at the service desk tells me that they have equipment for the hearing impaired. HUH? Thats not what I'm here about. I'm talking about the ignorance of the staff. I ask to see this equipment, I wanted to see what it was that was suppose to help me in the nose bleed section. She digs around in a box on the floor that has written on the front of it in a marker, "Hearing Impaired and Evacuation Papers". Now you've got to be kidding me?!? What does hearing impaired equipment have to do with evacuation papers? How insulting.

after a few minutes of searching she brings out a amplifying headset. Again, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. What good is that going to do me? I read lips. No matter how loud you make a sound, unless I have something to work with,(facial expressions, lip reading, captioning, something) I can't figure it out anyway. What a waste.


I go back to my seat.


And sit. In the dark.


Everyone around me is laughing and having a good time with the music and praise.


I sit. In the dark.

Cam at 5 has learned to adapt as well. I look over and he is pretending to play drums by himself while his friends are engaged in the show... My little boy sits in the dark too.


Now I'm Sad.


Then to my astonishment what do I see? The section that was closed is now open for the second wave of people. They only closed it so the first half of the arena would fill up so when they let the second wave of people in they could find a seats instead of it being scattered.



I'm Infuriated!




Now, I'm spitting fire!!!


I go back to the service desk to write a formal complaint.


A very nice gentleman listens to my story and tries to help me. He sees the floor manager and stops him to see if he can help us find seats closer. The floor manager is irate when he sees me and says "I've already talked that woman! She didn't want to separate from her friends!" No I didn't and my son isn't going to leave his buddies either.

So, I go and search on my own.

I find seats behind the stage, but at least from there we can see the big screen.

I went back to get everyone. My beautiful hearted friend Ruth and our other friend and all the kids were thrilled with the new seats. We got to see the performers as the entered and exited the stage. Very cool. Thats why we're forever friends.



Cam never lost attention, and in fact during intermission he went to the restroom, when he returned he asked me if he had missed any music. At that point we were having a great time. The concert wasn't over until 10:00 pm. Cam was exhausted. (He is usually in bed by 8) He fell asleep in my lap during a slow song. I turned off his aids and rocked my baby for the last couple of songs. Only a hearing impaired child can sleep though a christian rock concert...lol



Why is it so difficult to help us? Why does it irritate people that we need help?


Why?....


Wednesday, February 4, 2009

For hearing aids to be most effective, they must first be worn.

I've been so appalled by what happened last week that my heart wasn't even into writing about it.
My little boy went an entire day at school without his hearing aids because his teacher had them on her desk...
Preposterous you say, but I am here to tell you it happened.
His batteries went dead at 9:30 am in the gym. He goes back to class, his teacher then makes the assumption that he had been sent to the office to call us. (btw, I personally gave her a pack of batteries and Cam knows how to change them himself) 10:30, 11:30, 12:30, 1:30, 2:30, 3:10 his dad picks him up at school. When Cam gets in the van, he doesn't have his hearing aids...
She never bothered to call us, and it was so unimportant to her that she didn't even remember to give them back to him at the end of the day!!!!
Disgusting isn't it?
And Oh btw, when my husband went into the school to retrieve the aids, the teacher couldn't even find the hearing aid batteries that I gave her.

Let's just say Cam's School is in for A BIG WAKE UP CALL!!!
I have a meeting in the morning with the head of the Board of Education. If that doesn't make me happy I will go to the State.

If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to shoot me any suggestions or links!