IEP time again...

Its simple really.
Being 7 is hard. Being 7 with a hearing loss is even harder.
Realizing that you don't hear what typical hearing people hear is hard. Realizing this when your 7, is nearly impossible.
Accepting when someone tells you what you heard is incorrect is difficult. Accepting this when your 7 isn't going to happen.
When your 7 you think the world revolves around you. When your 7 with a hearing loss, your disability is often misunderstood by the world.
At 7 your voice is small, your understanding is limited, and your ability to overcome is left in the hands of those closes to you.
Being the mother of a child with a hearing loss is hard. Being the mother, who was a hearing impaired child herself, looking into the eyes of your HOH child and understanding the tears and the struggles is even harder.
Sometimes I think it would be so much easier if I didn't understand how much it all mattered. I wish I thought that my HOH child making a 79 on a spelling test where no special accommodations were made for him was good. I wish I thought if my HOH childs teacher wrote notes that contain phrases such as: "If he had paid attention, I think he would have done better." or "he was working while I was giving directions." or "we read the story aloud together." meant just that. But it doesn't. For a HOH child it means EVERYTHING BUT THAT. It means he's hard of hearing. It means that he didn't know you were giving directions, it means he doesn't understand that he cant color while your going over directions, it means you read a story aloud in a noisy class room to a group of noisy 7 year olds and expected my child who can't hear well to follow and understand that story. It means YOU dont understand. All these things only mean that my child who can not hear well wasn't given the same opportunities as that of his hearing peers. These things only make me angry, because I know. I know how hard it is to be in a noisy class room with a soft spoken teacher and have that teacher blame you for naturally having the mind of a 7 year old. I know what its like to be considered "lazy" and "easily distracted" when thats not the case at all. In fact what is really going on is quite simple. Hard of hearing children adapt to their worlds, and have everyone convinced that they understand more than they really do. So. Actually the teachers don't realize they are the ones who are lazy, by not giving that little bit of extra thought. They also don't realize they are easily distracted by the fact that a child wearing hearing aids isn't a child that can hear. Hes a child with hearing aids.
HOH children don't know their limitations, they have to be given the opportunity to hear like their classmates. So! Before Cam's teachers can write such notes and I can except such grades, I have to know that he was given a chance. A chance, that's all I ask. Seems like a simple request to me.

A Different Day, a Different World

I had the meeting with The Board of Education and also with Cam's school. I brought along the information packet for his teachers and the other educators that were present. It went really well. Better than I had hoped. That was about 3 weeks ago. Everything has improved so much. Its almost like having another school, another teacher and also another child. I didn't realize how much it was effecting him. Cam is happy and learning so much more than before. Its so nice to see him happy its nice to see him enjoying school again. I feel so blessed right now. I never would have thought it would work.
The whole experience has opened my eyes to the fact that sometimes you can get the help you need. Sometimes people really do care. Sometimes the system works. Sometimes I need to let go of my past and realize the whole world isn't out to get us because we're Hard of Hearing. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't happen often, but when it does, it shows me what the world is capable of being. A world where being HoH isn't a burden, just a different way of living.


Note: For those of you who follow my blog you will notice this is the first blog where I've used the term Hard of Hearing. I've done a lot of research on the terms and its not that I don't still see myself as Hearing Impaired or that I will never refer to myself as such, but I will use which ever term fits my mood, after all its just a term.

It’s okay to be called deaf, hearing impaired, hard of hearing or whatever title you feel comfortable with. It’s when you limit yourself, put yourself in a “poor me scenario,” and degrade yourself . . . that will stop you from reaching your greatest potential and aspiration in life.
~Justin Osmond

Hearing Impaired and Evacuation Papers

Cam and I went with my life long best friend (we'll call her Ruth) and her two older children, along with one of Ruths other friends to the Toby Mac concert at the Birmingham Jefferson Civic Center Arena. It was Ruths Birthday. We all spent the entire day together and had a fantastic time!
Ruth and her two beautiful kids.

On the hearing impaired end of it though, the Birmingham Jefferson Civic Center Arena was an ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE! It saddened my heart beyond belief at the ignorance and callousness of the people who were employed at the event to help people.

But before that,,,

We arrived 4 hours early for the concert and stood outside with our children (imagine the pain of that...lol) and waited on the doors to open because there were no pre-sell tickets. But, even that was fun...

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

When we got inside, Ruth, being the person she is and my forever friend, asked the floor manager if there were any seats for the hearing impaired or if they could help us because my son and I both read lips. They had seats up on a platform set aside for this sort of thing, but my son and I wouldn't be with our friends. WHAT?!? Okay so the fact that they couldn't set aside an entire section for the hearing or visually impaired and their entire group of friends, I get it, sorta, but the fact that they wouldn't help us?!?

If we weren't willing to to it their way, then sorry. Go away. HUH?

I told Ruth to forget it anyway, because we were early enough to get seats on our own. So, we go over to a section at the side of the stage that was filling up. Only to be told we couldn't sit there the section was closed. (I've been to concerts where you couldn't sit back stage so that wasn't all that surprising.) Ruth again asked if we could stay so we could read lips. No! Go over there, to some reserved seats for hearing impaired. We go. No seats. By this time the arena is full.

WHAT?!? You've got to be kidding me.

We've spent 40 minutes getting the run around and lost all chance to be any where near the stage. Up top we go. I know it wasn't my fault, but I felt horrible for my friend. If she hadn't been with us and tried to help us, she would have been very close to the stage herself. But as always Ruth wasn't even fazed by the whole thing, lets get seats and have fun!

I get up to go complain, because we got the run around. They should educate their staff on reserved seating, or the lack there of, and not send people on a wild goose chase.

The lady at the service desk tells me that they have equipment for the hearing impaired. HUH? Thats not what I'm here about. I'm talking about the ignorance of the staff. I ask to see this equipment, I wanted to see what it was that was suppose to help me in the nose bleed section. She digs around in a box on the floor that has written on the front of it in a marker, "Hearing Impaired and Evacuation Papers". Now you've got to be kidding me?!? What does hearing impaired equipment have to do with evacuation papers? How insulting.

after a few minutes of searching she brings out a amplifying headset. Again, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. What good is that going to do me? I read lips. No matter how loud you make a sound, unless I have something to work with,(facial expressions, lip reading, captioning, something) I can't figure it out anyway. What a waste.

I go back to my seat.

And sit. In the dark.

Everyone around me is laughing and having a good time with the music and praise.

I sit. In the dark.

Cam at 5 has learned to adapt as well. I look over and he is pretending to play drums by himself while his friends are engaged in the show... My little boy sits in the dark too.

Now I'm Sad.

Then to my astonishment what do I see? The section that was closed is now open for the second wave of people. They only closed it so the first half of the arena would fill up so when they let the second wave of people in they could find a seats instead of it being scattered.

I'm Infuriated!

Now, I'm spitting fire!!!

I go back to the service desk to write a formal complaint.

A very nice gentleman listens to my story and tries to help me. He sees the floor manager and stops him to see if he can help us find seats closer. The floor manager is irate when he sees me and says "I've already talked that woman! She didn't want to separate from her friends!" No I didn't and my son isn't going to leave his buddies either.

So, I go and search on my own.

I find seats behind the stage, but at least from there we can see the big screen.

I went back to get everyone. My beautiful hearted friend Ruth and our other friend and all the kids were thrilled with the new seats. We got to see the performers as the entered and exited the stage. Very cool. Thats why we're forever friends.



Cam never lost attention, and in fact during intermission he went to the restroom, when he returned he asked me if he had missed any music. At that point we were having a great time. The concert wasn't over until 10:00 pm. Cam was exhausted. (He is usually in bed by 8) He fell asleep in my lap during a slow song. I turned off his aids and rocked my baby for the last couple of songs. Only a hearing impaired child can sleep though a christian rock concert...lol

Why is it so difficult to help us? Why does it irritate people that we need help?

Why?....

The 44th President

No matter where my support went this election, or what my political beliefs were, as I sat and watched the 44th President of the United States be sworn in office, one thing came to mind:
Equality.
As I sat and watched the first African American President and his family stand on the west side of the U.S. Capital Building one feeling came over my heart:
Hope.
The hope for equality for all people, even the hearing impaired. Even my son.
So, for me, no matter where I stood politically, today was about everyone coming together.
Today, I was reminded of why I fight and write so much for equality for my son and myself. Today I was reminded of why it is all worth it.
Good luck Mr. President, and good luck to every one who is continuing to fight for their dreams.
May all our dreams come true.

Sometimes its nice to have ordinary days.

A very interesting thing happened at work last night. We were very busy and it was extremely loud in the restaurant and I had a couple of my co-workers double-check to make sure I heard them. That was awesome, because I, indeed, had not heard them. They didn't assume that I heard them. I guess they have finally realized that if I don't respond I most likely didn't hear them. It was over all a fantastic night.
Me and my friend ZDaddy took the kids to the movies this afternoon. He has a daughter the same age as my Cam. They have a lot of fun together. I love going to the movies, I can usually follow the entire movie because its so loud.
Its nice to have days without hearing issues.

I still do not seem to be hearing well though. I'm going to have to get that checked...

I don't share my poems often, but I thought some of you might enjoy this one

Little Ears and a Mothers Hopes and Dreams


Hearing aids in the littlest ears, I'd ever seen.
With them died, all my hopes and dreams.

A little baby boy, too young to talk.
Wearing hearing aids, before he could set up, or even walk.

The anger the sadness, it all came and went.
Along with the therapy's, and doctors, and the money we spent.

I've spent my days, watching him experience the world- though his ears.
And without even knowing it, my days, have turned into years.

Now a little boy who talks way too much.
He has wide eyes, and baseball dreams, and eats Noodle O's for lunch.

The world is so beautiful, Do you hear what I see?
Looking now, I have a whole new set of hopes and dreams,
For the cutest little ears with hearing aids, I've ever seen...


-AEFK