Its simple really.
Being 7 is hard. Being 7 with a hearing loss is even harder.
Realizing that you don't hear what typical hearing people hear is hard. Realizing this when your 7, is nearly impossible.
Accepting when someone tells you what you heard is incorrect is difficult. Accepting this when your 7 isn't going to happen.
When your 7 you think the world revolves around you. When your 7 with a hearing loss, your disability is often misunderstood by the world.
At 7 your voice is small, your understanding is limited, and your ability to overcome is left in the hands of those closes to you.
Being the mother of a child with a hearing loss is hard. Being the mother, who was a hearing impaired child herself, looking into the eyes of your HOH child and understanding the tears and the struggles is even harder.
Sometimes I think it would be so much easier if I didn't understand how much it all mattered. I wish I thought that my HOH child making a 79 on a spelling test where no special accommodations were made for him was good. I wish I thought if my HOH childs teacher wrote notes that contain phrases such as: "If he had paid attention, I think he would have done better." or "he was working while I was giving directions." or "we read the story aloud together." meant just that. But it doesn't. For a HOH child it means EVERYTHING BUT THAT. It means he's hard of hearing. It means that he didn't know you were giving directions, it means he doesn't understand that he cant color while your going over directions, it means you read a story aloud in a noisy class room to a group of noisy 7 year olds and expected my child who can't hear well to follow and understand that story. It means YOU dont understand. All these things only mean that my child who can not hear well wasn't given the same opportunities as that of his hearing peers. These things only make me angry, because I know. I know how hard it is to be in a noisy class room with a soft spoken teacher and have that teacher blame you for naturally having the mind of a 7 year old. I know what its like to be considered "lazy" and "easily distracted" when thats not the case at all. In fact what is really going on is quite simple. Hard of hearing children adapt to their worlds, and have everyone convinced that they understand more than they really do. So. Actually the teachers don't realize they are the ones who are lazy, by not giving that little bit of extra thought. They also don't realize they are easily distracted by the fact that a child wearing hearing aids isn't a child that can hear. Hes a child with hearing aids.
HOH children don't know their limitations, they have to be given the opportunity to hear like their classmates. So! Before Cam's teachers can write such notes and I can except such grades, I have to know that he was given a chance. A chance, that's all I ask. Seems like a simple request to me.
I haven't written in over 6 months.I started to feel like I was whining. It came to a point where I had to decide if I was advocating or making excuses.It took my son (as it almost always does) to open my eyes.Cam took a spelling test at school. He failed. He's never made anything below 100 on a spelling test. Now I must tell you this is the Thursday "pre-test". The test that counts is taken on Friday. When I asked what happened this is what he told me: "I was talking to a classmate before she started the test and I didn't know it started. I couldn't catch up, and she wouldn't repeat the words when I asked her to." Now I feel I must tell you that his teacher is a wonderful teacher and she even gave him the test a second time. The second time he was pondering a word and she went on to the next one. He asked her to repeat the word and she wouldn't. Now this made me FURIOUS!!! Now, I will tell you that I did scold him for talking in class because it's against the rules and he would not have been left behind on the first test, but what needs to be noted here is that even though he was breaking the rules he was at a disadvantage. He can't follow a background conversation. Do you think the little girl he was talking to before test #1 knew the test had started? Of course she did. Even though it was his actions that caused him to be behind, it was his handicap that caused him to miss out. Now the second test, that is an entirely different irritation. These words all sound the same. And as a hearing impaired person myself I can tell you it is very hard to hear words called out during an oral test. But these words were: hose, rose, (those two not only rhyme but are formed the same on the lips no lipreading there) rode, those, hope, woke, joke, (again very similar on the lips...grrr) bone, stone, home. A hard of hearing kids nightmare!!! Not only does he have to figure out what word was said, but then his little 6 year old brain has to make the connection from the brain to the ear then he has to remember how to spell it, figure out how to write it, then try to decide if all of that's correct. Give me a break.So I flipped my lid. We studied the words again this time I gave him tips for lipreading and hard of hearing thinking. Something I've never done. On Friday, he made a 100. As always. My kid's ability to overcome never ceases to amaze me.Did I go to the school. No. Should I have? Maybe. Its one of those parental decisions you never know if you got it right. I guess my thinking was if it was his final grade I would have, and at the same time it was an opportunity for him to be made aware of struggles he will have to face all of his life.Will I bring it up at a teachers meeting. You bet. There's always room for them to learn and attempt to understand that he's always at a disadvantage when it comes to hearing. Will I have to have the way he is given his spelling tests changed, probably. But for now we're going to let it ride.This is where I feel I've changed. I mean I can YELL AND SCREAM AND YELL AND SCREAM, but in the end it doesn't really help much. And it just makes me angry. I have to choose my battles. This time I chose to put my anger aside and find a way to help my son deal with his limitations.
