Life Happens, Hearing Impaired or Not.

Its been awhile since my last blog.
Life Happens.
I got my hearing aid back, its working great.
I had and iron infusion, and take two pills a day.
I took a small leave of absence from work over the holidays because I had strep throat, and my mom was in the hospital.
Life Happens.
Christmas came and went.
My car bit the dust. Got a new van.
Went back to work.
Celebrated my 9th wedding anniversary.
Life Happens.

Everything has fallen into place now,, for a while I hope... :) I worked my first two shifts back at the restaurant Wednesday and Thursday. They went well. It felt good to be back. I've taken a step back from management for awhile. Its taken away a lot of the stress.
Hearing isn't an issue when you don't have to prove yourself all the time. I'll jump back in there soon, I'm sure... I can't stay silent for too long. Right now, I just cant fight the fight. I've fallen back into my comfort zone. I just need a break from the struggle to succeed in the hearing world. Sometimes I just need to be Amy. Not the Amy fighting for equality.

A New Day with an Old Aid

Today I get my hearing aid out of the shop.
Wish me luck.
Oh,,, how I dread getting used to it again. I hate being aware of my aids, the head aches, the wondering if its loud enough, good enough...
I need it to work. I need it to be programed to give me an advantage.
Please, let it all be good...

Priceless Moments

Ok. In my last blog I stated that there were no advantages to being hearing impaired in the restaurant industry.
Correction.
There is.
It was one of the funniest things I've ever experienced as a lip reader. Two employees were discussing me, the manager, and the restaurant in well,,,not so nice of terms. I was reading this from inside the kitchen through the window of the kitchen door. I told the manager what I was about to do, then as he watched...

I went around the kitchen, came up from behind them, put my arms around their shoulders and explained to them that there was a reason for the things they were discussing, the reason was "The manager and I want them that way." I also told them that out in the dining area was not the place to be having that discussion and it was inappropriate to be using profanity.

IT WAS TOO FREAKIN' FUNNY!!! They went white as ghost. They knew they were BUSTED, but they had no clue how they got caught.

Me and the manager had a good laugh over that one.

It was priceless.
Today there WAS an advantage. Today it was all okay.

Stop throwing it up in my face, I know I'm hearing impaired.

My RLS is better. Turns out my iron is extremely low, it was causing my RLS to act up. I have to go to the hospital soon and have an iron infusion. Ugg.

Right now, I'm having a bit of a pity me moment. I'm so disgusted...
Sometimes being hearing impaired just pisses me off. I hate when I can't hear. I hate that other people assume that I have hearing aids and it fixes it all. Hearing aids are a beautiful thing, but they are not a fix all, they are not like glasses. You don't just put them on and every things fixed! This weekend at work, being hearing impaired SUCKED. We have a new district manager. (We'll call her The Queen). One of the first things she did was turn up the music in our restaurant. It has a dial that goes from 1-10, we keep it on 4 max. The Queen turned it up to 8! It sounded like a bar. It makes feel vulnerable like a helpless child a bit panic stricken. It also makes me feel like I'm being judged as less than intelligent because I can't hear. Then the next night, BAM right in my face again. I tried to work in the kitchen, and that just about sent me over the edge. HELLOO! WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO WORK WITH ME JUST A LITTLE HERE PEOPLE! Give me just a bit of understanding and consideration. ARE THERE ANY ADVANTAGES TO BEING HEARING IMPAIRED IN THE RESTAURANT INDUSTRY?!? The answer is NO!

The Leg Bone is Connected to the Hearing Bone

My RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) is back, and flaring. Grrrr. I get so tired due to the lack of sleep. Today I was a walking zombie. That meant I couldn't hear. I was too exhausted to focus.
I have to be rested to hear. I hate RLS.

Hearing the Unseen

I was was the opening manager at work this morning, and I was left with no choice but to do a conference call. Alone. Are you kidding me?!?
N I G H T M A RE.
I freaked out.
I've been on many conference calls before, but only as a listener (at other jobs). I've never been the one that had to represent my employers. I've never had to worry if I was missing anything, or if I was able to keep up with what was being said. I could get someone to fill me in later. And I sure didn't have to participate in the conversation. This morning I just didn't want to sound like an idiot in front of the other restaurants in our district, or our new district manager.
I did just fine.
Nothing to it.
I hate it when I freak out about something and later realize I was being stupid. I just don't trust my ears to do the hearing for me. I need to learn to trust myself to get the job done. Its scary sometimes to think that I can be a professional woman in the service industry and be hearing impaired.
I'm just Fantabulus!!! ;)

The Pain of a Loaner Hearing Aid

I had forgotten what it was like when "loud" noises hurt. The loaner aid I'm wearing is not digital. It has a volume control. Wow. I had forgotten. I missed my volume control so much when I changed to digital. But now, after wearing an older analog aid for over a week now,,, I'm grateful for the lack of control I have. Its nice to have aids that adjust on their on. Cam squeals in my ear and it HURTS. Power tools are a no, no. And the high pitch beeping and clanking noises in the kitchen at work are torture, not annoying -PAINFUL!
The sound is so different too. Its bland. Dull. And it has NO DIRECTION. At least I can get a general idea of how far away a sound is with my digital aids, but with the loaner....Nothing.
I will be so grateful to get my aid back.