You Think You See, But You Have No Idea

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Jasper, Alabama, United States

Monday, March 16, 2009

It's baseball time again!

Cam has the most awesome baseball coaches ever! I mentioned today at practice how I might need to help him look where he needs to look in order to follow their directions on the field, and his coaches said they already noticed that and were going to work with him... They went on to say, they've coached Cam for 3 years and they'll take care of him, and see to it he knows whats going own. How wonderful!

He is so cute out there playing ball. Sorry you guys, but I'll be living at the ball field for the next few months, your going to hear a lot about it... :)

Saturday, March 14, 2009

I can love myself and my ears

I am so amazed by how much self acceptance along with the awareness of my own needs that I have acquired since I started this blog. Writing this blog has had the most profound impact on who I am as a person and how I view myself and how I view being HoH. It has truly opened my eyes to a world within myself that I didn't even know existed. I had no idea how much my life was effected by wearing hearing aids and being hearing impaired. Almost every area of my life is effected by being HoH, and yet I had never given it much consideration, nor did I know how much help I needed.
It seems so easy now. This is who I was meant to be. Becoming aware of my limitations has, as odd as it may sound, been the most freeing and liberating experience.
I'll give you an example. The other day at my little boys baseball game, I said, without even thinking about it, to one of the other mothers, that I needed to coach Cam to play as a hearing impaired child. (to use his eyes as his ears) I was shocked that I said it so casual. Then later I said I need to tell the coach that when Cam is on second base and looking at his coach for the signal to run, he needs to stay focused on Cam, so Cam can stay focused on him. Then just as natural as could be, one of the moms commented to me about something that had been said and I asked her what had been said because I couldn't hear. Wow. In the past I would have just done the yeah, I don't know what your talking about but I'll pretend I do, nod.
Its really okay to be Hard of Hearing. Its okay to need help. Its okay to ask. Its okay to be hearing impaired and not pretend you hear everything. Because I don't hear everything, and sometimes I do need help.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Not fearing the unheard

I'm proud of myself.
I'm proud of all that I can do, despite the hardship.
I'm proud that I can do what I fear.
I can live and function in a world that doesn't notice that I struggle.
I can do it all, and still be sane....
I noticed today that I have risen above, above my own fears.
For that I am proud.